Fast-Forwarding Through the Grammys

We watched the Grammys last night, sort of. DVRs are made for just this situation.

Quick thoughts?

Jennifer Hudson - watching Jennifer Hudson and realizing that not only did she not win her season of American Idol, but was booted in 7th place, tells you all you need to know about the relative merits/relevance of American Idol. Which is to say there is none.

Bruno Mars is really adorable. I just want to squish his little face.

Mick Jagger is still weirdly compelling.

Bob Dylan is now forever cast inside my head as the worlds creepiest sideshow barker.

Gwyneth Paltrow sings way, way better than Katy Perry.

Miranda Lambert, don't know/don't care, but did notice that whatever she was wearing appeared to be made out of flattened pieces of cow liver sewn together. And not in an avant garde Lady Gaga way, but in a look-what-I-made-in-my-future-homemakers-class-out-of-things-I-found-in-the-barn sort of way. (Was I snooty and elitest enough? If not, I can try harder.)

Too much Rhianna. She sang flat and she was blocking my view of Adam Levine. (rowrr)

Great minds think alike: the S/O and I both wondered at the exact same second if John Mayer was late for a Johnny Depp lookalike contest and when Drake was going to admit his fondness for musical theater, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Lady Antebellum, really? I mean, I don't care for Emimem too much, but at least there's some there there. Lady Antebellum is an example of the Rascal Flattenization of music. Lowest common denominator pudding. Or oatmeal. And not even good oatmeal, the kind with rolled oats and spices and chunks of apple, but off-brand instant oatmeal, where you added too much water and it went all grey and soupy. I hear that damn song and it at once fills me both with an unspeakable ennui and a desire to do violence to someone, preferably Justin Beiber.

Favorite moments: Norah Jones singing "Jolene" and the fact that in every category it was nominated in, my favorite song of the year was referred to as (The Song Otherwise Known As Forget You). That was one forgetting great song.

(Also, too, it is my contention that Nicki Minaj is the modern-day equivalent to E.G. Daily. If you got that reference with out looking it up, you are hereby awarded extra-super-secret double points. )