Adventures in Babysitting

The 8-year-old comes home from school yesterday telling me he's going to get a uniform demerit next week if he doesn't get a hair cut. You see, his bangs were TOUCHING HIS EYEBROWS. I mean the horror of it! Next you thing you know, he'll be the spitting image of Mickey Fucking Roarke.

I felt like snapping off a note stating, "I'll trim my kid's hair when you assure me that every teacher at your school can speak proper English." Last year in second grade he had a teacher who said things like "Valentime's Day" and "liberry" and "I seen him do it." And this is a PRIVATE SCHOOL that went up 10% in tuition this year. Maybe if they spent more time worrying about actual education instead of if a kid's bangs are touching his eyebrows or his socks are a few millimeters above his ankle -- I kid you not, they measure the socks in the mornings -- then this state wouldn't be freaking 49th in the Union in education.

I realize now that I'm paying people more money than I can actually afford just to piss me off.

Why I when I was a kid, you could go to school wearing nothing but a grass skirt and two coconuts, have birds nesting in your hair, and smoke a cigar while sitting in the front row of class, but the teachers knew that Africa was a continet and not a country and they could DIAGRAM A FUCKING SENTENCE.