Tuesday, August 5, 2014

To Blog or Not To Blog, That is the Question

This is a personal blog, as anyone who has read it over the years can attest. It's catharsis for me, putting words down and letting them loose. I am, above anything else, a writer, and I always will be. Sometimes it's humorous, sometimes it's serious, sometimes it's just a random, crazy thought. It's more for me than anyone else, although hopefully sometimes somebody finds something amusing or otherwise worth reading.

I've missed blogging, and in my new, post-apocalypse world, I'm eager to go back to it. I've lost a lot of things recently, but this is my patch of ground. This is me and no one else. I've been warned, post-apocalypse, to be careful about making certain people "uncomfortable." Well, not to put too fine a point on it, fuck that noise. My purpose in life is not to make random people comfortable or uncomfortable. And if you are uncomfortable, perhaps you should look deep inside and explore that a little, because maybe you should be uncomfortable.

I've spent a lot of time lately keeping my mouth shut, and spent too much time surrounded by some people whom I could please only by my sudden and unmourned disappearance. Too bad. I will be judicious, because as the great Buckaroo Banzai said, "Don't be mean. We don't have to mean," but I'm through being, as I was brutally called recently, "invisible."

And no, for select people who might work themselves into a lather, I'm not burning anything down, just reclaiming what's mine. I'm sure there are going to be a lot of tortured metaphors, inside jokes, cryptic blatherings, and general nerddom. There will probably be some very sad and difficult things, at least for a while as I work out my new place in the world. I've given a lot of thought to what I will write, and to what I won't, and to the toxic things I will write and never post, because once I've got them out of my head they will have lost their venom and would do no one any good in the end.

And if you have the time, you might go backwards and read some of the archives. There was some really funny stuff and some really touching stuff, and a few moments in my life that were very important, caught forever in a little snowglobe world. No matter what happened or is yet to happen, those moments are real and they are precious and I'm glad that I put them down on paper when I had the chance.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Long Dark Teatime of the Soul, Redux

So, I've been gone a while. I mean really gone for a really long while. Things, as they are wont to do, have changed. My life has undergone a catastrophic upheaval (preceded by a limbo period where I apparently became someone I shouldn't ever have been.) But out of the blue the other day an old friend, a very dear friend and one of the finest, most honorable people I've ever known, called me (totally unaware of said catastrophic event) just to tell me something he forgot to tell me 30-odd years ago.

And when he learned of the catastrophic event (and I really feel like it should have some signifier of import but I can't think of a title that really does it justice yet), he told me something very simple. He said, "That's not who you are. You forgot who you are, but that's definitely not who you are."   And, like that, the light switch that had been flipped off a couple of weeks earlier, leaving me in a pitch black room that was totally unfamiliar and full of potentially deadly things, flipped back on. Sure, the light isn't very bright yet and I can't see the corners, but sometimes those things take a little while to warm up. I have to believe that the light will get brighter, and that eventually I will find my way out of that dark room. Maybe it'll take a special key I don't know I have yet, or maybe I'll just have to take an ax and hack my way out, but I will find a way out.

And so I'm going to start blogging again. Why? Because I have too many words, always too many words, and they need to go somewhere. And it doesn't matter that much if people read all of them -- although I'm somewhat amazed that this blog still has regular visitors, years after I last posted -- but it matters to me that I put those words somewhere. That's something that keeps me healthy and keeps me sharp. And maybe I'll occasionally write something that someone finds funny, or true, or makes someone feel some emotion they need to feel. For me, it's another way of moving forward and keeping the gremlins in the garret from getting too restless and turning on the landlord.

See, I feel better already.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Why, yes, it IS a small world.

Your helpful Sons of Anarchy analogy of the day: Obama did to Mittens what Jax did to the prison guard with the snow globe. Who knew snow globes were so sturdy? Besides Corbin Bernsen, I mean.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Oh, Walter, How I Have Missed You

Since I couldn't go to ComicCon dressed as, say, Penny Priddy from Buckaroo Banzai -- stupid kids, stupid work, stupid dogs and cats become catatonic if I leave the house -- I have to comfort myself with web trailers.

Delicious Strawberry-Flavored Death to All!

Link -- Because the embed has foiled me today.

And, yeah, I never post anymore, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Kids, Know Your Grammar

No Explanation Needed.

Monday, April 30, 2012

In Which I Explain Where I was the Last 8 Weeks


So, it’s been a while. Let me begin by saying February sucks.  It’s chilly, but not in a good, crisp wintery sort of way and there’s a letdown from all the foofaraw of Christmas and New Year’s. It’s the month of the year when you’re at a midway point between the solstice and the coming of spring, a long exhalation before any of us can breathe again.  For me, it seems like Douglas Adam’s Long, Dark Teatime of the Soul. 

And so, of course, everyone got sick. First it was food poisoning, which morphed into a weeks-long carnival of gastroenteritis that no one escaped. In our debilitated condition, we all fell prey to a nasty upper respiratory bug.  There was not a day in that six-week period where someone wasn’t vomiting or hacking or curled up in agony.  Despite all this, people still had to go to work and school and scouts and drama practice and choir and soccer. It’s truly a wonder we’re not all dead.  Added to that, I’ve had a computer virus that has blocked me from posting for several weeks. I stubbornly decided to cure it myself, which – considering my negative technological polarity – has been somewhat, ah, difficult. I believe it’s fixed. 

So my train of thought was derailed for a while, and it’s taken half of March and most of April to get it running back down the track. Not that all that time was wasted. After a small promotion in February and a big promotion in April, I’ve finally hit the Amazon bestseller lists. It was at #98, but I was briefly number one in several mystery and suspense subcategories. The ensuing sales meant that I’ve actually started to sporadically earn more from the books than from my day job.  The fact that (between free promos and paid sales) there are now 20,000+ people reading my work, and more every day,  is both exhilarating and terrifying. 

And so now it’s time to put the house in order. I’ve gone to part-time work (mostly for established clients and as favors to friends) and I’ve told the other people who live in the house to shut up and make their own damned macaroni.  I’ve heard from fans asking when the next Maddie book is coming out – which caused Susan and I to come to the revelation that Curtain Call, which was supposed to be the next Maddie book and was partially written and plotted, was boring and we didn’t care for it. Luckily, we already have the next six Maddie books semi-plotted, so the demise of Curtain Call means the ascendance of Scene Stealer, which we hope to have finished before the end of the year.  My first short story collection, Dead Girls and Other Stories, will be out shortly. (I’m still poking one of the stories to make sure it’s truly dead and formatting the manuscript). Then the next two novels, which are each meant to anchor a series, are in some stage of serious work.  Dead of Winter, which is 2/3 of the way finished, has been tied up and shoved into a closet until further notice.
So for those of you keeping score at home, you can currently buy Darker By Degree, Director’s Cut, and Running Red. During the next eight months, expect the release of  A Willingness of Witches, Lost Things, Scene Stealer, Dead Girls and Other Stories, and possibly another short story collection by Christmas. 

Oh, and I have to get back to blogging, both here and the other place. So, expect things to return to normal – or at least as normal as they ever were. Which probably wasn’t very.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Random Thoughts: Walking Dead "Nebraska" Edition.

First of all, yay! I hate midseason breaks, and I’m glad that’s over with. SPOILERS for “Nebraska” episode follow, for those who have not watched it yet.

  • I hope Lori is dead in that ditch. Because a) Lori is an idiot. And b) Lori is an idiot. And c) Lori is, in addition to being an idiot, whiny. I’m telling you, whiny is not going far in a zombie apocalypse.  First she tells Rick not to go looking for the closest thing they have to an actual doctor. At least a doctor is useful, unlike Lori. Then she goes whining to Daryl about how he’s being selfish by not doing her idiotic bidding, after he just about killed himself trying to find Sophia, and after she sent poor Glenn off with her super-secret shopping list. Self-aware much, Lori? Then she takes off without telling anyone, absconding with one of the vehicles that was in better shape, and tries to read a map by HOLDING IT IN FRONT OF HER FACE WHILE DRIVING. This somewhat impaired her ability to see the ZOMBIE XING sign on her way to Karmasgoingtokickyourassville.    How about this? How about we exchange Lori for introducing the entire rest of the cast from Prison Break? That would be awesome.

  • I heart Daryl. He’s at least off making new arrows (especially given how stupid Andrea had him wasting arrows willy-nilly earlier because she’s a passive/aggressive nutcase). He cracked me up with his “Listen here, Olive Oyl…” which might have been the second best line of the show.

  • Kid #1 suggesta “Otis Used To Play The Guitar” as an awesome band name.

  • Liked how the bar is right next to an honest-to-god horse and buggy shop. Stop in for a sasparilly and some rock candy with the kids! Have your picture taken with an old-timey prospector zombie!

  • I can finally look at Andrew Lincoln and not hear him speaking with a British accent. (Unlike most Americans, I first watched him on three series of the BBC show Afterlife.)

  • Love how Dale drove Shane absolutely crazy by not saying a single word. I just hope when Shane finally proves to everyone what a cowardly insane douchebag he is in some overly dramatic way, he manages only to take out Andrea and Lori and not anyone who’s actually tolerable.   

  • I cannot believe that no one turned to Shane after the Zombie Barn Massacre and uttered the words “Happy now?” Because I so would have. And then I would have done a Snoopy dance.

  • While Rick and Herschel’s endless philosophizing was getting on my last nerve, the story arc in the bar from when Michael Raymond-James and Fat Tony walked into until the inevitable dénouement was atiny little masterpiece. For the first time, I believed Rick was a cop. It was amazing to watch the way he and Raymond-James size each other up. And anybody with an ounce of ability to read a scene could see the exact moment when Rick decided who wasn’t walking out of there. Then it was just a matter of picking the moment. One of the best scenes of the season.


  • Bonus thought from Talking Dead – Dave Navarro is about as bright as Lori. He not only managed to totally misread every single character, but when asked about his thoughts on Dale said, “Oh, wait, is he the guy with the RV?” Yeah, right, Navarro, you’re on top of things. And you’re a huge fan, even though you can’t bother to learn the character names. Too busy sanding your amazingly smooth face or braiding up the side of your leather pants?

I am still counting down until the moment when Shane/Lori/Andrea are eaten by zombies. Or killed by their own stupidity. The two are not mutually exclusive. Die, Shane/Lori/Andrea, Die!