Monday, July 27, 2015

Random Thoughts -- 7/27

(Programming note -- I'm in a better place.  And no, it's not Happydale. Physically, emotionally, financially.  So maybe not so complainy. Still, well, me. Acerbic? Darkly humorous? I guess that's a kind way of putting it. So more than just random thoughts, it's what I've been up to )

-Woke up with Dickie Bennett hair this morning. I don't know whether that means I slept well or poorly. I had a vivid and confusing dream. Same thing I always dream about, but different. Weird.

- Hermit crabs make surprisingly engaging pets. (Loch and Cate got hermit crabs, Nicky got turtles.  The turtles are way cuter than the hermit crabs, but less fascinating.)

- Going to the store requires putting on a bra. Unfair.

-Speaking of stores, we now have a Walmart Market, or whatever it's called.  Now, I hate Walmart and try to avoid it like the plague, but sometimes it's a necessity. I live in a healthy food desert, and Piggly-Wiggly, for all it's charm and the fact that everyone in the store knows you by name, does not carry a wide variety of healthy foods.  So I was kind of excited, because I thought I would be able to find some things that I NEED, without having to drive to another town. NO. Just the basics, and if not the basics, versions that I don't want. They have Morningstar Grillers, but not the Veggie Burgers, Mushroom Burgers, or Black Bean Burgers.  They have no fizzy water. Not even Dasani. No Mamma Chia (especially not Blackberry Hibiscus.)  And the only Luna Bars they have are Lemon Zest and Chocolate Dipped Coconut.  This is not working for me. Sigh, so it's still a trip to Amite. (Where they have BOXES of Chocolate Peanut Butter Luna Bars, and La Croix fizzy water in grapefruit.).  That makes me sound like a frou-frou food snob. But after the last year, I am on a specific and healthy diet that is carefully balanced. Except if I go out to eat. Then all bets are off....

- HBO GO is pretty awesome.

- If someone keeps showing you who they really are, no matter how horrifying it is, you should believe them.  If you don't, it's your fault, not theirs.

- Along those lines, never try to crash an echo chamber.  If you go outside, stare into the sun, and hit yourself repeatedly in the head with a ballpeen hammer, you'll get the same effect and it will take less of your time.

-Found a great pair of hoof trimmers for the goat. I was not aware that it is markedly harder to trim goat hooves than horse hooves.  Mainly because the goat is like, "No."  And I'm like, "Yes."  And the goat is like, "No. Really."  And I'm like, "Yes, really." And the goat is like, "Then I am going to kick you really hard and run away." And I'm like "Whatever." And then the goat is like, "Don't say I didn't warn you."  Sigh.

-Speaking of the goat, a couple of weeks ago it was raining tremendously hard, really sheeting, with wind. We had built the goat a shelter, but it proved inadequate, because we really hadn't considered sideways rain. GOATS HATE TO GET WET.   So I brought Loki inside, because there was no other option at the moment. The first thing he did was carefully remove everything from my office trashcan, proceed to get his horns stuck in the mesh, and then run around with the trashcan on his head. THIS IS WHY GOATS ARE NOT HOUSE PETS. He then proceeded to eat half the cover of my thesaurus and a bill I hadn't paid yet. (Goats are not like dogs. They can't be shamed. If you yell at them to stop doing something, they don't even glance at you. It's all, "La-la-la-I can't hear you," and an eventual tug-of-war.) Eventually he curled up on the dog bed beneath my desk and went to sleep. (He's no bigger than Bismarck, the lab/pointer mix I unexpectedly inherited.)  We have since built a better, raised shelter, so now he can't be pathetic if it rains.

-Along those lines, it has been brought to my attention that we are sharing our lives with 11 critters now. Some people think that's excessive. But you know what, screw them. When I was a kid we were surrounded by animals. At the ranch we had cattle and horses and sheep, and various and sundry other critters. (My aunt had an attack goose that scared everybody, and I remember learning how to rope with goats. I was still never very good at it.) At home we always had a variety of animals: my horse, cats, dogs, pheasants, quail, rabbits, ducks, and mice, rats, gerbils, fish.  (One year my dad filled the swimming pool with trout. They used to come to the side of the pool if you tapped and would eat out of your hand. When winter came, we had to let them all go in a stream in the mountains, because we were so attached to them that we couldn't bear to eat them.)

So what I'm saying is that being surrounded by other life is good for kids and it's good for adults. It teaches them responsibility, empathy, compassion. It makes them richer people, and expands their knowledge. They learn that pets aren't disposable, that they are other beings to be taken care of, that there are commitments you make that you can't break just because it's more convenient for you . It makes them more aware of the wonders of the world around them. I know my children are better people for it. So, yes, I currently live with four dogs, 2 cats, a goat, two hermit crabs and 2 aquatic turtles. And they enrich all our lives immeasurably.       /gets off soapbox.

-What is the best way to tell someone you're not talking to them without talking to them? Is it just ignoring them? This is a terrible dilemma for someone who always has one more thing to say......

-Had a PET scan.  The doctor looked like Jensen Ackles, only taller, and cuter. Way cuter. Yeah. Which only proves what the kids have said, that somehow I got signed up for Handsome Doctor of the Month club. It's like central casting out there. NOT THAT I AM COMPLAINING.  But, damn. It makes you want to become a hypochondriac. (If you will remember my adventures with Handsome Doctor Who Should Just Take His Shirt Off; Handsome Doctor With Whom I Want to Run Away To Tahiti With; and Handsome Doctor Are You Sure You're Old Enough to Be a Surgeon?) And I just realized I said Doctor Who. It would be much more awesome if my doctor was actually The Doctor (preferably the Ninth, Tenth or Eleventh). And, yeah I'm one of those people who likes the Eleventh Doctor slightly better than the Tenth Doctor, so shut up.

-Have finally come to terms with the fact that I quit smoking and it ain't coming back. It's been long enough now under enough stressful situations (UNDERSTATEMENT) that I'm confident. I have quit for long periods of time often, but whenever stress got too much I would fall off the wagon. I think mostly it was rebellion. It was a "You can't control ME," kind of thing. And I'm just realizing now that there has been A LOT of that in my life. So detaching your motives makes something more controllable. If you understand the patterns, it's easier to get rid of what you want to get rid of. (I do have a Vapor Pen that I can pull out if I get really stressed. But it's so NOT a cigarette that it helps get rid of the familiarity and comfort. And it helps get rid of the Nicotine addiction without freaking out about it. Also, no smell, no ash, which is the biggest plus.) Dr. Sunnydale was very pleased, and stopped giving me the disapproving look he gave me last year.  (not his real name, but damned if he doesn't look like Armin Shimerman, who was principal of Sunnydale High on Buffy. Hence he is not a member of Handsome Doctor of the Month club, but I really like him anyway, even when he gives me the concerned look.) So yeah, my smoking habit is dead as a Norwegian Blue. And I'm finally glad.

-Realized it was time for lunch and there is nothing I want in the house. Not even fizzy water. Dammit, I am not driving to Amite.  It will be overripe bananas and almond milk for the second day in a row.

-Kid coming home from New Mexico soon. Despite him being an angst-ridden, sarcastic, teenage know-it-all, I really miss the little monster. Well, he's not so little, but still.

And this is long enough, and too me-centric. Back soon and it will be all about how much I miss Justified, Hockey, and how fascinating hermit crabs are. Just Kidding. It will be cogent and more fascinating than a hermit crab. Maybe.