Saturday, February 21, 2009

Adventures in Babysitting

The 8-year-old comes home from school yesterday telling me he's going to get a uniform demerit next week if he doesn't get a hair cut. You see, his bangs were TOUCHING HIS EYEBROWS. I mean the horror of it! Next you thing you know, he'll be the spitting image of Mickey Fucking Roarke.

I felt like snapping off a note stating, "I'll trim my kid's hair when you assure me that every teacher at your school can speak proper English." Last year in second grade he had a teacher who said things like "Valentime's Day" and "liberry" and "I seen him do it." And this is a PRIVATE SCHOOL that went up 10% in tuition this year. Maybe if they spent more time worrying about actual education instead of if a kid's bangs are touching his eyebrows or his socks are a few millimeters above his ankle -- I kid you not, they measure the socks in the mornings -- then this state wouldn't be freaking 49th in the Union in education.

I realize now that I'm paying people more money than I can actually afford just to piss me off.

Why I when I was a kid, you could go to school wearing nothing but a grass skirt and two coconuts, have birds nesting in your hair, and smoke a cigar while sitting in the front row of class, but the teachers knew that Africa was a continet and not a country and they could DIAGRAM A FUCKING SENTENCE.


  1. Liberry! ROTFLMAO!

    Personally, I think y'all put that kid on some kind of mega growth hormone or it's the country air or something. Because the only thing that grows faster than his hair is his body.

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