Friday, December 17, 2010

Annie Oakley, She Ain't

In standing with my long history of mocking Sarah Palin no matter how many times I claim it's too easy, another episode in the annals of the Grifta from Wasilla.  In the past we've learned that Sarah Palin is a lousy mother, knows next to nothing about hockey, and has barely a passing acquaintance with the English language. Now we find that for all her rootin' tootin' Western pioneer spirit, she's about as handy with a gun as she is with a complete sentence. Which is to say, NOT.

And it's not just us left-wing liberals who have noticed that the snowbilly is a serial tall-tale teller, but those real 'Mericans out on the windswept prairies of our great country are realizing that much like she thought she was an expert on foreign policy because she could see Russia from her porch, she's an expert on hunting because she once bought ground beef at the supermarket.

Exhibit A: Sportsman haz a sad, because Sarah's an idiot. A very decent little column about what's so egregiously wrong with her whole narrative.

Exhibit B: Field and Stream Calls Fail.

Hey, Sarah, you know how that crappy reality show was supposed to burnish your wilderness cred? How's that working out for you?

(Disclaimer: Although I'm a crazy, socialist liberal, I like guns. I find them aesthetically pleasing.  I've been around guns all my life, as I come from a long tradition of hunting, fishing, camping, ranching. I've probably forgotten more about outdoorsmanship than Failin' Palin has ever learned. I was a pretty decent markswoman and carried a loaded revolver in my truck the entire time I was in college, driving back and forth across the empty spaces out in the West. While I don't hunt personally, I always loved trap shooting and target shooting. I also don't have a quarrel with responsible hunters who eat what they kill and have an understanding of real conservation. I will, however, say that I think people who like to shoot things just to watch them die are fucked in the head somehow, and anybody who thinks shooting something from a helicopter is okay should first die in a fire, and then be consigned to a special circle of hell filled with hungry wolves and disgruntled grizzlies. Pack light, Sarah, I hear it's hot down there!)

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