Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Beatings Will Continue Till Morale Improves

Remember how I was bemoaning the anticipated slow decline of the spymobile? Well, turns out it's not so slow. Coming home from chauffeur duty the other day, the clutch went kablooey. It was actually kind of terrifying, seeing as I was going about 70 on the interstate at the time. But with my mad skillz, I managed to downshift into second, push the hazard blinkers, and ride the clutch the last three miles home without killing us all. Soon I was waving a tearful goodbye as the spymobile was loaded onto a tow truck for another stint at the mechanics.

But with the bathroom floor needing replacing, kid #3 taking a summer class (do you know how much three credit hours costs? yikes!), and the prospect of filling my car with hundred dollar bills and setting it on fire, we are rapidly leaving the territory of "Sorry, kids, no vacation this year," and crossing the border into, "Hey, who wants to sell a kidney on the black market?"

On top of that, the overwhelming mental weight of the whole publishing thing is causing my brain to short circuit. In studying up on what it takes to properly format a novel manuscript across all the different publishing platforms, I have realized that typesetting is far more terrifying than having your car explode on the interstate. I'm actually having nightmares about typesetting. It's like the Microsoft Word Zombie Formatting Apocalypse. 

But I think my initial panic attack is fading, so I'm pressing forward. Slow and steady wins the race, blah, blah, blah, blah. I just hope to make enough money to pay for all the tranquilizers I see in my future.


  1. I knew something was going on. Smaug's Frilly Girdle, though, that sounds ghastly, Keri. It's a miracle you're alive, and I am thankful for that miracle.

    I figured it was the publishing burden. Complain about it, Keri. To me, on this blog, to your friends - let it all out and that'll help. If nothing else, I'd be interested in hearing about the typesetting in detail - and I'd be interested in hearing about everything else. Your mad fits of giddy inspiration have created a great affection in me towards you in a short time, as few people understand the joy and laughter of rising from a page written in your own blood.

  2. Well, that and the S/O has a massive sinus infection, well, still has, but the miracles of prednisone and amoxicillin have pulled him back from the brink.

    I think the typesetting thing is I've shoved too much information into my head at one time. I need 4 manuscripts in HTML, PDF, and EPUB formats, but first I've got to clean up all the gremlins in Word. (stupid, stupid Word). It eminently doable, just...technical. And of course none of that matters until the revising and proofreading is done, so I've basically sent my cart careening down the hill without even getting the horse out of the barn. I'm unpredictable like that. Or perhaps too predictable.

    I'm beating it into submission, though.